Simon Collinson

Bedtime Stories for Little Potatoes

Are all you tosies sitting comfortably?
Then I’ll tell you all about the grim and gruesome fingerlings.

Beware Tosies, watch out for the fearsome ferocious fingerlings
They’ll come seeking for tosies resting peacefully in their trenches.
No one knows when the fingerlings will show up flinging their forks about to ease and dig tosies out.

If those fiendish fingerlings find you, they’ll carry you away to their cruel places.
Many are the ways fingerlings torture tosies for they are sadistic fingerlings, swirling and
Seething with nasty fantasies.
If they catch you, I’ll tell you what those wicked fingerlings will do to tempting tosies
For the foul fingerlings, they find pretty, pretty tosies so tasty and satisfying.
They want to tear tosies apart and eat you.

Poor, poor Tosies torn out of your soily beds, taken to a terrible place called the “Kitchen”, to be shaken, scraped, peeled, poked, jabbed and jagged and drenched in water.
Or they’ll wrap you up tight tosies in silvery jackets.
Perhaps toss Tosies into a boiling pan.
Or roast you alive Tosies
Or frying, for the Fingerlings love frying, turn tosies into salty saucy chipies. Make Fingerlings lick their lipees.
Maybe they’ll make you into mash, oh you should see their monstrous mashers
Some of the twisty Fingerlings will relish steaming tosies with their skins on.

Many are the ways the Fingerlings torment Tosies.
Which one, I wonder, will get you?

After that, Fingerlings will serve you on a plate
Then savagely stab and cut tosies up. Slice you nicely
Rip and tear poor Toesies, for Fingerlings find tosies appealing and pleasing, so delightful, and delectable, so incredibly desirable and edible.

Then those greedy gluttonous guzzle gutzing fingerlings will gobble you up!
They’ll make a meal out of you, delicious Tosies.
And then it’ll be ta ta and tatty bye Tosies.

So make sure you are quiet little tosies or else the fingerlings will find you and fetch you away.

I supposies you tosies thought You could hide safely in your beds, but you’ll be supposing falsely, for the fingerlings knowsie where you tosies are

Keep your eyes peeled my precious pretty tender tosies

You never know when the fingerlings  will come to grab and snatch you

Did you supposey your life will be a bed of rosies, well you supposey wrong you innocent tosies
I’m afraid the future for you succulent, sweet, tasty and tantalising tosies, isn’t very rosy.

For here comes a fingerling to chop off your heads

chop-chop-chop

Nighty night and pleasant dreams, my little tosies.
Don’t let the fingerlings bite.

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About the Author

Simon is an Autistic writer from England. He seeks stillness, solitude, shade and shadow.