MaryAnn L. Miller

FAR OUT ON A COMET'S TAIL*

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Far out on the comet's tail where light becomes memory
there is an unmooring,
a possibility of meeting oneself in an exchange of energy.

An expert on NPR shatters the cold of this January
with his theory of recollection.
What we thought we were made of is singed, warped, sifted.

Our airship beats away with no destination,
pulses with a Bolero ostinato
or fades into a walk across the street.

Near the end we stand on wobbling particles.
Ahead, we see: unremembered infancies.
Here there is no denial of earthly change.

On the far end we cast lures into a Bethesda pool
gathering mercy and disgrace.
Remember how your spine folded halfway through the journey.

Remember how it felt when everything fell away, how proud you were
buying rugs for your mother
when your bones could take the weight.

We get smaller as we speed up, even as we tarry, we hope
someone is watching
for our return, but we don't care what they think.

When my grandfather died I touched his wooden fingers
And knew he could no longer
Shake out an insistent rhythm.

As we head toward the sun it's not so hard to imagine
the knots in our knuckles
splintering into wispy white birds.

* * *

WHY I CHOSE TO DO THE WORK

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because people don't pay attention
because children don't have the language
because doctors don't listen
because of the power of psychiatry
because of medical bias against females because children kill themselves
because there was no one to listen to their secrets because illness is often attributed to morality
because religion doesn't help

because parents are terrified of blame
because there are experts who need finding
because there are connections to make

between an emotionally incontinent second grade boy and lead poisoning
between a seventh grader with a miscarriage and the school nurse
between a fugitive kindergartner and a pediatric neurologist
between a bully and his Vietnam vet father
between a step-daughter's essay and the prosecutor's office
between the island of silence and the bridge of speech

*Both of the poems above are from Miller's collection La Belle Indifference reviewed in this issue of Wordgathering.

MaryAnn L. Miller's book, Locus Mentis, was published in 2012 by PS Books. She work has appeared in various journals in the Philadelphia area, Kaleidoscope Magazine, and the International Review of African American Art. Miller is also a visual artist specializing in screen prints and artist books. Her work is in the National Museum of Women in the Arts. She has been the Resident Book Artist for the Experimental Printmaking Institute, Lafayette College since 2001. She publishes artist's books through her Lucia Press. Most recently Miller is designing and binding an artist's book with the poet Nikky Finney. She has Hyperkalemic Periodic Paralysis.