Dominika Bednarska

CRIPPLE

Cripple
I like the rip in it
the space between oh and
ohh not having to cover it like
a rip in my stocking
the gap between what you saw when I was sitting at the bar
and
what you saw when I walked away
I like the ripple in it
the way it mimics the sway
and contract of my body
its constant small motions
the way at first
friends and lovers won’t even say it
can barely push it off the tongue
and then find it one day
not only filled with fire and wind
but also water and air

* * *

MY FRIEND PAUL SAYS*

My friend Paul says abortion and prenatal testing is necessary to prevent the birth of babies who have something seriously wrong with them like X and I say I have X. Paul says not people like you. I often make faces and wonder if just one muscle stayed tense for good, if I slurred my speech, if I stuttered, if I could not swallow, which variable would make me any less worthy of living?

*Previously published in the Bellevue Literary Review.

Dominika Bednarska is a doctoral student in English and Disability Studies at the University of California, Berkeley. Her writing has appeared in several anthologies, zines, and literary reviews. She is also developing a solo show entitled “My Body Love Story.” For more information on publications and performances, can be seen at dominikabednarskaspeaks.blogspot.com.