Reviewed by Kate Champlin
Content Warning: domestic violence, ableism, sanism, oppression within mental health systems and other contexts and circumstances
Finding Order in Disorder combines multinational memoir and mental health outreach with lyrical passages on nature and dance therapy. Chopra’s ultimate aims are to raise awareness about mental health issues, normalize conversations on mental health subjects, and de-stigmatize mental health care.
Early on, Chopra states that “indulging in a blame game serves no purpose and is, in the end, self-defeating” (7). Chopra is discussing childhood memories and tensions within her family. However, some readers may feel that Chopra applies the same attitude to ableist culture and that she does not read that culture critically enough. Chopra calls her neurodiversity an illness and sometimes refers to her support network as her caregivers. Her advice to bipolar readers includes notes on medication and exercise. Nevertheless, Finding Order in Disorder has excellent things to say about self-care, questioning norms, and the unique vulnerabilities that neurodiverse individuals can face.
Chopra has experienced neurodiversity in many different cultural contexts. Chopra was born in Mumbai and moved to Canada at the age of twelve. She has lived in India, in Canada, and, briefly, in Germany while maintaining ties on several continents. Chopra notes that conversations about mental health are nearly taboo in India, particularly in rural India. She describes a culture where people simply mask their differences and deal with their negative emotions as best they can.1 As a result of this widespread silence, average citizens may know very little about mental health issues. Chopra mentions one prospective mother-in-law who initially got along with her well. The woman became overtly terrified of Chopra when she learned of Chopra’s bipolar status. One of Chopra’s goals is to normalize conversations on mental health and de-stigmatize mental health care, specifically in India.
Chopra also describes differences between rural Indian culture and cultures where discussions about neurodiversity are relatively more common, stating:
After moving to Canada, I was pleasantly surprised to enter a world where being bipolar did not render me an outcast from society. (58)
Unfortunately, as Chopra reminds us, true acceptance is a long way away in many societies. People living in Canada and the United States are often forced to mask as well. This is particularly true in the workforce because our working world tends to enforce conformity and often engages in ableism. Moreover, societies such as Canada and the United States tend to over-rely on medication. Even more distressingly, those diagnosed with mental illness in any culture may find themselves “denied all control” during episodes (xiv). Even well-meaning doctors may take choices away from their patients. Chopra has experienced restraint, isolation, and major fatigue from medication during bipolar episodes, all “treatments” or side effects she would have rejected if given the option. Chopra only touches on these important topics surrounding mental health care but may inspire readers toward further research. Abuses of trust like those Chopra describes require immediate attention.
Chopra gives more detail about other aspects of her life with bipolar disorder. She describes the activities that provide therapy and center her life with remarkable love. Chopra is an early childhood educator; she suggests that her perception of her students’ innocence has helped her to heal after episodes. She also remains in touch with the natural world. Readers will enjoy her descriptions of the South Asian biosphere and of unique educational opportunities in India. In her first chapter, Chopra recounts a childhood experience at a boarding school in the Sahyadri hill range. She says:
The Sahyadri School campus had a small hill named Asthachal Hill. We used to climb it every evening at five to observe the sunset, watch the sun go down slowly but surely. The calming effect it had on all of us, including the hyper ones like me, was truly remarkable. These memories of my childhood will never fade away. Even today, when I feel too wired up, I like to be amidst nature to observe the setting sun. (9)
Chopra is equally lyrical when she describes dance. She has been involved in Indian classical dance, particularly Kathak, since childhood, and she enjoys Latin dance as well. Chopra holds a performing arts degree in Kathak from Bharati Vidyapeeth in Pune. She states that dance helped her survive her abusive first marriage, and she has also shared Kathak with her students. She posts videos of her own dances on her YouTube channel: Ishaa Tanzerin. In one of several passages that connects dance to therapy and emotional wellness, Chopra states:
Dance is therapy. We all know this, but I have lived it. Being told something and experiencing the same thing are two entirely different things. Dance is like meditation, where the dancer is free of all worldly thoughts and transcends this universe. The world of a dancer doesn’t have any notion of abnormality or normality in it. Everything is pure and sacred, much like the white drapes of Goddess Saraswati. It is this world that I want to live in, devoid of any judgement or labels. The chaos of our thoughts can be silenced through dance, making it possible to soak in the beauty of the world’s creation by achieving stillness. (67)
Chopra returns to the notions of normality and abnormality in her final chapters. Here, she argues for both universal acceptance and self-acceptance, pointing out that each person actually has their own ‘normal.’ As Chopra puts it:
Most labels, especially in mental health, arise because of some notion of abnormality which is defined by society to be wrong or not in sync with ‘perfection’. But who determines what is ‘normal’ and what isn’t? (134)
While Finding Order in Disorder may leave some readers wanting more critical analysis, it is an effective memoir about the experience of bipolar disorder. The work fulfills Chopra’s goals: this text will help de-stigmatize mental illness and encourage conversations about mental health. Chopra writes lyrically and lovingly about her chosen therapeutic techniques. She exposes the special vulnerabilities that those with mental illness may face. Her work is both a delight and an effective form of outreach.
Note
- According to Psychology Today, masking refers to hiding neurodivergent traits. Masking can make anxiety and depression much worse. Read more at: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/positively-different/202411/the-strain-of-masking-reclaiming-our-neurodivergent-selves
Title: Finding Order in Disorder: A Bipolar Memoir
Author: Ishaa Vinod Chopra
Publisher: Om Books International
Date: 2024
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About the Reviewer
Kate Champlin (she/her) is a late-deafened adult and a graduate of Ball State University (Indiana). She currently works as a writing tutor and as a contract worker for BK International Education Consultancy, a company whose aim is to normalize the success of underserved students.