Harrison Shi


PTSD

(listen to the poem, read by the author)

I am not bashful about my afflictions

Now, I’m an open book–my brain rests in a glass display
A generous donation for science and research
Among the things that were stolen, I was given many things too
Hypomania, pressured speech, grandiosity, risky behavior
All part of a familiar language

If I step back into a hospital today, I will shudder like the nightmares and the night lights that flickered in the halls

Nurse’s faces, irregular beeps, tongue out, closed mouth, please swallow

Violent tackles, tight shackles, drooling in front of my family
The choreography of the psych ward is a tempting dance
An evasive rhythm
Once you find the key, there is no reverting back to standard tuning

Marks on your body and brain
The damage is done– but not over
This pain, too, is cyclical

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About the Author

Harrison Shi is a graduate student in the English Education program at Rutgers University. Their poetry addresses personal experiences with mental illness in addition to themes of family, love, death, and emotion. Harrison is currently in the process of applying to creative writing MFA programs for poetry for the 2025-26 school year. They enjoy house music, quality cups of coffee, and eating tasty food with friends and family.