Christine Parker

YOU WILL NEVER KNOW

I want to stand by you, he said
but i could not see him

hiding behind shadows
he reached out and
pushed me under

making sure i stayed down
his boot planted into my back

he ground me into the dirt

i thought that i screamed
as i felt myself break

but all i could hear was his laughter

you will never know
how much i love you, he said

he was wrong...i think i know now

Christine Parker has Multiple Sclerosis.  At the onset of some of the most severe symptoms (but prior to diagnosis) her husband, in response to her growing limitations, began to subject her to extreme and severe abuse. Her experiences have brought her an awareness of the stigma of illness/disability and the correlation between disabilities and domestic abuse.  The poem was written a year ago on the date that was her second year anniversary date of having fled the abuse.