Cheryl Conway

BUT YOU LOOK SO GOOD*

Oh but you look so good, I heard them say.
Is that me you're talking to? I thank them for the compliment, wishing I felt that way.
I wonder what that phrase is really suppose to mean?
I'm no Marilyn Monroe and certainly no beauty queen.
I'll admit I've done fairly well, quite the actress I've become.
I try not to discuss my excruciating cranial nerves, or my legs that are often numb.

My family has witnessed the days in which I can hardly bear. Days when fatigue is so consuming,
I don't bother to fix my hair. I'll make it to the shower, a technique to hide the pain,
you can't hear me crying and my tears are swallowed by the drain.
Days when I can't budge and I feel frozen in one place. Of course, these are the days you won't see my face.

I suspect when you see me out in public, I project a certain glow.
My good days are seldom now, but I'm truly sick you know?
I don't know how to describe the symptoms of a disease still so misunderstood.
But, I still don't mind hearing, "Oh, but you look so good."

*Previously published in MS Lifeline

Cheryl Conway lives with RRMS and Fibromyalgia; a former Medical Transcriptionist, she resides in Kennewick, Washington with her family. Cheryl is an Honorary member of the International Society of Poets and her work has appeared in MS LIFE LINES.