Hal Sirowitz

Adventures in Parkinson's

Having Parkinson’s disease is like being on a roller coaster ride. You wonder why you ever paid admission. Then, you remember you had no choice. Whether you’ve gotten Parkinson’s from a gene or from the environment, it doesn’t really matter. You find out you can’t get off. You’re stuck on the ride forever. The ride stops in mid-air. You realize it’s always going to be like this – a personal battle to regain your balance. What was once easy – like standing – becomes harder to do.

You remember the advice of all the physical therapists you worked with. They all told you to take bigger steps. Walking becomes an act of navigation. You go from chair – safety – to crossing the street. Transition periods are the hardest – from sitting to standing. You have to re-orient yourself to the standing life. You realize when you walk there’s nothing for you to hold on to. It’s almost like being fitted with skates. But there’s no ice under your feet to make it a smooth jaunt. You become disoriented by entrances and exits.

You use the cracks in the sidewalk as positions to put your feet. But the world wasn’t constructed with you in mind. Each house has its own sidewalk. You go from stepping on concrete to bricks. As soon as you master one section of sidewalk, you encounter a different one. Sometimes, you have to step on shadows of trees to regain your footing.

There’s no such thing as a free passage from one location to another. Sometimes, the brain doesn’t co-operate. You tell it to do one thing – it does another. It’s like walking the plank, except there’s no alligator in the water to bite you. It’s only your pride that gets humiliated. There’s nothing to do but get up.