Lizz Schumer

IF BEAUTY IS A VERB, WHY AREN'T WE MOVING
On the interstices between perception and expression

Can one write poetry without writing about the body? In poetry, don't we return to physical-based metaphors again and again, devices we can feel resonate in some part of ourselves, because we all have those parts, those feelings?

Don't we?

Poetry is so often focused on making the personal more universal, and vice versa, but disability poetry or for our purposes, poetry about or by the disabled body, has been seen as other, as different, as not universal and not quite personal either, because we hadn't been seen that way. Not by anyone but ourselves and sometimes, not even then. But the disability literature canon has also been ghettoized even by those professing to belong to it. Part of that is self-defense; if we keep to ourselves, we can't be rejected. But we've all heard, or contributed to, the grumblings; that our writing appears in Wordgathering or Bellevue or Breath & Shadow, but not in Poetry, not in Ploughshares, not in Tin House. If 'Beauty is a Verb:' [The New Poetry of Disability], as touts the title of a disability writing anthology edited by Shelia Black, Jennifer Bartlett and Michael Northen, why aren't we going anywhere?

It comes down to a question of ownership. Editors have grappled with the question since publishing began: How to categorize writing when often, authors bristle at the idea of pigeonholing. Suspense vs. Drama. Chick Lit vs. Lit Fic Memoir vs. Fiction. What emerged as a categorizing term, intended to make finding the work easier for the reader, has also restricted them to reading what they already know they like; themselves.

Recently, some literary journal editors have asked for more submissions from disabled writers, but it remains to be seen whether they risk inclusion and for that matter, whether they even understand what they're asking for, when we often don't know where we fit.

As a writer with a (mostly) invisible disability, I have the extreme luxury of "passing" as an average, cis-gender white woman, provided no one expects me to run a marathon or dance the cha-cha. I can choose to "out" myself, or not, depending on the publication, on the poem. Wordgathering gets poems about kinesthesia, while Minerva Rising has trotted out stories about sex in a movie theater.

It feels problematic to shuttle between two worlds in two halves of myself, but also necessary. Since my illness is only evident to me, I experience the same automatic exclusion at a panel of disabled writers as I do as a femme cis-gender at a gay bar: Unless I hang a sign around my neck, people draw their own conclusions. Those people, too often, include editors. So how do we break down those divides?

For starters, I turn to writers like Lisa Lutwyche, a cancer survivor and poet; Kenny Fries, a well-known disabled writer, and Bhanu Kapil, a non-disabled poet whose work often deals with the body in its many forms.

In Lutwyche's poem "Unbidden Stones," she explores the origin of her cancer in a relationship with an abusive man. The poem begins:

Listen, girl, you and I both know how it got there
Remember when you used to get that big, tight knot of fear in your chest?
How strong it was? Remember that hunted, haunted panic?

You were his quarry.
Trapped in those scolding, hypnotic eyes.
That feeling was so strong.
If you didn't scream it out, the energy of all that terror had to go somewhere.
If it went nowhere, it stayed inside. Right where you said you felt it.

Lutwyche's "Unbidden Stones," which appeared on "Second Saturday Poets" in 2009, is a "mainstream" poem, although it deals with the body; the raw, naked and by the end of the poem, altered body that we see so often in crip lit journals like this one. What makes it mainstream? It's written by a straight, white woman about an experience – cancer – that has touched almost all of us, in one way or another.

Then take this stanza from Fries' "Full Moon, White Sands," a poem that first appeared in his book Desert Walking: Poems (2000; The Avocado Press) and can also be found on The Good Men Project*:

what we perceive is formed
not only by reflection,
but together with our expectation.

Fries' work does not always deal with disability or the body. His work is often overtly sexual, sensual even, but particularly in "Desert Walking," his lens is turned outward onto the natural world, the places he experiences with and through his body, but not about it. In this particular work, the interstices between perception and expectation are interesting from an invisible disability point of view. Society's expectations of people with invisible disabilities are often normative, which can be damaging both perceptually and practically. In that sense, it would seem our own responsibility to self-report, but the implication that responsibility lies solely with the disabled person to articulate her needs is also dangerous.

People see me, and my work, the way they want to see us. I can almost always be read "straight," and that assumption is not necessarily allayed by my appearance at readings. I very rarely disclose my disability. To do so would naturally affect the readers' expectations, but it would also open a conversation about disability and poetry that isn't being had, on the mainstream stage. That said, I'm not sure that responsibility must be mine to carry.

To straddle the worlds Fries and Lutwyche inhabit, there's Kapil. Her work transcends genres, boundaries and even planets, often concerning the body as a form and a subject, both intensely personal and resonating on the most universal levels. Take this excerpt from "Text to Complete a Text" from Incubation: A Space for Monsters:

Now I am here, in the future of color. I'm sorry I do not have more to say about the period of submergence that preceded my arrival. I am not interested in it. I do not recall it. I . . . It was only when my car stopped that I realized what I had to do, on my own terms, with my own two legs: get going. Is that how you say it? Get up and go. The destiny of my body as separate from my childhood: I came here to hitchhike. I came here to complete a thing I began in another place.

Incubation: A Space for Monsters is particularly unique as a text, because it explores a woman-creature born a cyborg. Kapil has been open about her own experience as an immigrant, a marginalized population, and so her fluency in the alien world feels both authentic and articulate. This book seems to speak to both the crip lit and mainstream poetry communities equally, to bridge a gap of sorts, if one exists between them. How much I think we all wish we lived "in the future of color," sometimes. The destiny of the body Kapil notes, can be read from both a non-disabled and disabled perspective, as separate from our childhoods, ie. as a body with a consciousness that we can choose to express and read as we wish.

When I first began to explore my place within the disability writing community, about three years ago, I attended the launch party for Beauty is a Verb: The New Poetry of Disability in Chicago. I didn't know anyone else there, and sat next to an ASL translation student. We chatted before it began, and she asked what I was studying. Her face when I told her I wasn't, that I was there to hear my fellow poets, gave away what I feared: I stood out. When I hosted a conference on disability in the arts at the Museum of disABILITY History last March, my friends and family asked why I had chosen to explore that particular topic.

What I wanted to say to them, and what I think more of us need to say to the mainstream community, is that we didn't get to choose to live the experience, but we can choose how we express it. We should not be quibbling over who belongs where, but asserting our collective belonging wherever we want to go. "Nothing about us, without us," after all.

I hope places like Poetry and Tin House and Ploughshares begin accepting more disability writing, because I think we need to be heard.** As a poet with an invisible disability, I also acknowledge that like it or not, my position carries some responsibility to speak, if I want an audience to listen.

 

Editors Notes:
*For more about the Good Men Project see the interview with Erin Kelly in this issue of Wordgathering.
**A case in point of this beginning to occur the December 2014 issue of Poetry, which included a roundtable by four writers with disabilities well-known for their work in disability poetry: Jennifer Bartlett, John Lee Clark, Jim Ferris and Jillian Weise.

 

Lizz Schumer is an editor and writer living with fibromyalgia and MECFS, usually in Buffalo, N.Y. Her first book, Buffalo Steel came out in 2013 from Black Rose Writing. Her work has also appeared in Minerva Rising, Connotation Press, Manifest Station, Breath & Shadow, Salon and others. Schumer is working on her next book, Biography of a Body and also works as editor in chief of a local newspaper, writes a cocktail column for Buffalo.com and teaches creative writing. Schumer holds an MFA from Goddard College. She recently founded and hosted the first "Out of the Shadows: Join the Conversation" panel symposium on the place of disabled writers in the mainstream canon, held at the Museum of disABILITY History, which will enjoy its second installment next Spring. Schumer can be found online at lizzschumer.com, facebook.com/authorlizzschumer and @eschumer.