Leah Maines

THE DAY MY BRAIN STOPPED

  

                                      for Kevin

 

It is like when you spoke to me in Spanish

            but I answered in Japanese

 Then you offered me a book in English

            but it read like German, and I do not know German,

                      at least not much,

 So that just won't do

 No, not at all

 

 So 

I turned to French to stroke my brain to sense,

            thinking the language my foremothers embraced ages ago

                        might help me along 

But

No, way. Wait.  That's not right.

And my Tu for you has turned to Vous

And all I want to do is

                                          stop this world travel now and

                                                                                                   just find my way home. 

* * *

THE USEFULNESS OF CANES
                for Beth and the girls

They are good for beating snakes
If you find yourself in a rural area walking across a field and
A snake slithers across your naked ankle and
You are walking with a cane
        as I now am
and you cannot run away
        as I cannot
and you cannot yell "SNAKE" to elicit the aid of others
        as I now cannot
Then
You can use the cane to beat the snake or
If able, crush its head
Job well done

They are good for squishing bugs
Very good for squishing slow bugs and spiders
Not good at all for squishing flying bugs
        don't even try it
                especially if you must use a cane to walk
        because you damn well will not be able to run
        once the wasp, bee, hornet, or whatever the hell deadly creature
        starts chasing you for trying to kill it!
Keep it simple
Ground bugs only (slows ones are best)
Unless the flying bugs are injured and on the ground then
Squish Away!

And
As we all know
They are good for leaning
        but I prefer to lean on the arm of my Honey, my big Eagle Man
                but that is a different story
                                and, I suspect, a much better poem

Leah Maines has edited over 800 poetry, fiction, and play collections, including several award-winning titles. She is former Poet-in-Residence of Northern Kentucky University. Maines is the author of Looking to the East with Western Eyes, (Finishing Line Press) which reached #10 in the "Cincinnati/Tri-State Best Sellers List" (Cincinnati Enquirer), and Beyond the River, (KWC Press) winner of the Kentucky Writers' Coalition Poetry Chapbook Competition.