Arbin Tabao

LOLA

You were as cold as ice. The tip of your
Finger tracing smoothly the features of
My face. All the way down to my chin
Made me shiver. Your eyes cold grey
Deeply set in a face that reveal only
The lines creased in hollow isolation
Haunted me. Your own flesh and blood
Cowered in your presence. They feared you
In an intensity as powerful as hatred for
You have nothing but you—and the other you
Confined inside the wall built around you.

You were a woman of silence
Lips pressed tight in a line seen in the horizon
That never once moved. But you never needed
Words. Your silence was enough to remind me
Of my misdeed. I hated it that you always saw
Me. I could feel you breathing down my neck
Examining my every move—an unwanted attention
From you I never wished I had. I wonder why you hated me
Because of you I tried to be perfect—to please you.
But you never changed. Cold as always.

It was until that gloomy day on my sixteenth summer.
In your deathbed you were laid impassive. Surrounded
With faces that wore sad masks but never truly cared.
The clock started ticking and I heard you struggle for
One last breath. In a room full of people you finally
Looked around—as if trying to find something that should
Never be missed. And at the exact moment before you
Slipped away from life, you found me. And like a true miracle
You gave me that smile I've never seen before. A smile that could
Turn mud into crystal water.

So whether you hated me or you loved me
I'm not really sure. You never really said anything
After all.

Arbin Tabao is 19 years of age and at present is a fourth year Chemical Engineering student at Eastern Visayas State University here in the Philippines. He states, " I write whenever I've got nothing productive to do and also when I'm bored out of my mind I just grab a pen and just write about everything."