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I am not telling the truth.                                                                         It is far easier to tell of
                                                                                                                 the way a heart feels
when scraped over
a bedroom radiator as it clanks

against the freezing air                                                                                            than to admit
I turn your collarbone into life raft.
                                                                                                                                 I swallow
Your promises into pebbles

to become what grounds you, so you never have to feel
like leaving.

I am not one to go turning my jaw into clay for your fingertips;
grow my hair out for                                                                                               the pulling.
                                                                                                                                 I didn't let
the camera catch me smiling, barely
showed my teeth
                                                                                                                                 until you.

When winter invaded, you made sure my ears were ready for                               the chilling.

Falling in love with you is the avalanche that keeps                                               burying me.
                                                                                                                                 You are frozen into every cell.

How can I write about the way I blush steady at                                       the fever?
                                                                                                                   your pulsing. How

can I scream of buckling?                                                                                        my voice
                                                                                                                                 is still
                                                                                                                                 the door key

you never returned.